Gay Sex and Homosexuality

Adriana Sommer da Costa
Psychologist and Sexologist

Homosexuality may be coined as a sexual-affective attraction by individuals of the same sex. Whether a man feels attracted by another man or a woman has a soft spot for another woman, both falls under the same description.

When talking about sexual orientation we're bound to perceive sexual behavior. Referring to sexual behavior as norms and rules imposed by modern society. So then, there should never be judged by the looks.

Sometimes, a woman with man-like features might not necessarily act out as a man and shouldn't feel otherwise. To instance looks, a woman may not come off entirely feminine as such, lacking of those feminine attributes such as grace and sensuality, which strikes our minds under the cloak of sexist remarks. As it goes, this very woman if better known could have been married, being the perfect wife and mother for raising kids. Hasty judgements represent our bias society, of which bigotry imposes deterrents in its wake of prejudice and persecution. The appearance shouldn't determine what and how someone manages daily haphazard.

Homosexuality may not be viewed as a life choice, for nobody is born to choose what to become of, how would one prefer to dress up, what feelings would one rather have, and whom would one feel attracted by.

As far as we psychologists concern, sexual orientation gets started at infancy reaching its peak at adolescence and puberty. It all comes together when pivotal factors like surroundings, biological aspects as cognitive and hormonal, entwine as the role model of sexuality development.

It's concluded that an individual doesn't opt out to become homosexual, let alone to feel attracted by individuals of the same sex. It all builds up from previous sexual experiences dating as far back as infancy. Perhaps, it's an unconscious option unlikely to be altered or taken back by will power alone.

Regardless whether homosexual or else, a question of option rendered irrelevant under circumstances. All boils down to the way we express our sexuality, a question of option that is.

In the year of 1973, homosexuality was eradicated as diagnostic category by the psychiatry association, being removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It's argued that, there was done with a view that homosexuality is a life-style other than a pathological draw back. It occurs quite often, deemed as variation towards sexuality.

A handful of curiosities:
-Most male homosexuals might have felt some romantic attraction of a sort, at least before puberty.
-As much as half of pre-adolescent boys have had some sexual experience of the genital kind with sex partners of the same sex, although non-affective and simply exploratory. It's at the beginning of adolescence that romantic and sexual attractions by the same sex individuals begin to blossom.
- in women the unfold of romantic feelings for peers of the same sex lies in the pre-adolescence. Nevertheless, awareness of affective-sexual preferences for individuals of the same sex is likely to gain ground and set in at the end of adolescence or late stage in adult life.
-Women rather than men, have heterosexual experiences even before their first homosexual try out.
-Those sexual acrobatics we get into are pretty much the same as those performed by heterosexuals, in accordance to anatomical discrepancies presented.
-The psycho-dynamic factors that influence in the homosexual behavior may well be explained by the fear of castration in men, and in women the fear of fusion in the pre-oedipal phase. Amongst men there's such strong fixation for the maternal image, and a somewhat absence of the paternal image. As for women is included the lack of resolution as penis' jealousy when associated with unsolved oedipal conflicts.
-To a better understanding of such psychological factors refer to Freud (the father of psychoanalysis), who states that homosexuality lies in the resolution of the Oedipus complex, of which boys fell attracted by their mothers and antagonize their fathers, in contrast, girls fall in for their fathers and hassle their mothers (Elecktra's).

According to Freud, at this stage of the Oedipus complex, there might occur in both cases, a passive paternal image as lenient as permissive with no sufficient authority as to establish adequate boundaries to usual situations of the Oedipus complex. A passive father along with a super protective mother may render a boy to bottle up some of his mother's female characteristics including her object of sexual desire, a man that is. The same goes to girls, such wimpish-like father has no presence of mind neither the attitude to reinforce adequate limitations, and subsequently homosexuality ensued. All based on Freud's psychoanalytical theories.

Homosexuals suffer discrimination of bigots, having to put up with tagging in several occasions. Persecuted at school, hassled at work, and even misunderstood at home.

Understandably, as weary some homosexuals have difficulty in disclosing their status awkwardly oppressed by bias. Since coming out of the closet is a process directly connected to the individual's psychological world, so requires a great deal of self-determination to win hearts and minds. As consequence, one's identity deserves respect alongside high self-esteem so as to contribute for a life-style emotionally healthy. Self-acceptance is the first step towards assuming sexual orientation. As leanings take place by sheer fluke other than choice making, there leaves no room for questioning. After all, there goes someone in search of a blissful place under the sun with feelings, emotions, stories to tell, and life experiences to boot. This is what happiness is all about. Be good, be yourself. Prize safer sex.